Why Talking About Your Past is Never Enough

Why can’t talking about our past ever be enough to completely heal our hearts? 

Trauma expert, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (author of the Body Keeps the Score) explains that healing from trauma involves more than thought processes. It requires a new EXPERIENCE to re-wire updated information into the body’s autonomic system. 

Our CORE BELIEF systems are more than just mental decisions about what is important… they are experiences that serve as established guidelines, or patterns to rely on & foundational life-principles— not just ideas.

This explains why: 

I can know I should be worthy of love…
…but still feel emotionally unworthy.

I can talk myself into the fact that I am safe…
…but still feel a deep sense of unease in my gut.

I can use every calming exercise possible…
…but still struggle with a nervous, jumpy, hyper-vigilant system, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

In an ideal world, everyone would have been born into emotionally healthy, nurturing families.

We’d all experience attentive responses to every expression of need and be cared for in a way that establishes a sense of security, deep love, and connection into our body’s “CORE” system. 

But in the real world…we all experience imperfect situations and have imperfect humans as parents who pass on their own unresolved emotional patterns; even though they have the best of intentions. 

…and we pick up on these patterns and internalize them as foundational life-principles of:

-being anxious or depressed.

-disconnection from yourself…

-being trapped in self-doubt, self-criticism, or people-pleasing.

-always caught in a loop of longing, and avoidance.

-constantly on edge—like something bad is about to happen.

-carrying emotional pain in your body as

• chronic tension

• headaches

• digestive issues

• unexplained pain

—all signs that your body is holding onto unresolved emotional wounds.

And just talking about it or intellectually understanding what happened doesn’t change the CORE beliefs that are at the root of these unhealthy patterns.

If any of this feels frustratingly familiar, there's hope! And the first step is recognizing there’s a problem. 

The second step is realizing these patterns aren’t WHO you are; they’re just what you learned to do to survive. (No shame in being a survivor!) Now it’s time to allow healing for your whole self—not just a mental understanding of what happened.

That’s why the 3D method is the ideal next step. It’s powerful because it engages the whole person, Body, Soul and Spirit to establish life-giving, reconciled truths, and allows you to develop an internal pattern that sets you on a healthy path, instead of being trapped in “what you need to do to survive“ mode. 

This experiential process is done in a safe, caring atmosphere that works WITH your body’s systems not in-spite-of them; and incorporates timeless spiritual principles to ensure that the transformation is permanent!

Questions? 

Ready for healing? 

Let’s talk!  Schedule your no-cost consult session

A recent testimonial: 

“I just wanted to get it on record: I have experienced a few situations recently that used to trigger me, but I was able to recognize the situation, and not fall into “self-protect” mode! I was able to be clear-headed, handle the situation, and respond appropriately! No big deal!  I’m so grateful for this method!”       - AK