A Loneliness Epidemic…

Being alone is part of the human experience we all have; everyone is alone at least sometimes, either by choice or in specific situations. Loneliness has been found to activate the pain centers in your brain: your brain cannot tell the difference between emotional pain and physical pain. The impact of long-term loneliness is recorded in the body as an increased incidence of heart failure, stroke, dementia, and a higher likelihood of all causes of mortality. It is accepted that people who are lonely tend to live shorter lives.

The problem is that this kind of “pain” can become a base-line, get normalized, ignored and just move on. But the pain does not go away. It only adds stress…

On one hand: our relationship with ourselves is the only one we're guaranteed to have for our entire lives—so, it's worth nurturing our relationship with ourselves, and learn to enjoy our own company.

We can use our time alone to:

  • ·      Cultivate a Growth mindset

  • ·      Activate Self-Compassion/ self-care

  • ·      Experience Awe (prioritize enjoying nature, and  cultivating a sense of curiosity)

  • ·      Calm down physically from stress

  • ·      Learn positive declarations and/or scriptures  to tame negative self- talk

  • ·     The #1 solution to cultivate happiness is something we can also do alone! According to research the practice of gratitude activates feelings of joy, and a sense of fulfillment. Try a gratitude journal or write a letter of appreciation to someone who may not know how grateful you really are. This is a powerful tool to improve quality of life, nearly immediately.

(all of these elements are incorporated as part of the 3D protocol)

But on the other hand, feeling alone at the core is different than simply “being alone.” The sense of being disconnected, constantly having “only myself “ to rely on, caught up in a stress-hurricane is a different type of aloneness.  This kind of being alone is rooted in a perspective-on-the-world that seems impossible to shake. The internal conflicts that toss a person between wanting to belong yet hesitating to trust people create a tremendous amount of stress.

This type of aloneness erodes a persons’ ability to handle life. The external behaviors of overwork, a drive for perfection, or being constantly “on the go”— are all possible symptoms of a heart, trying to resolve a sense of feeling alone. This is the ideal type of thought pattern to address with the 3D protocol. 

It could feel like a sign of weakness to not be able to figure things out on your own. But tke another look; this is a  negative coping strategy that is self-perpetuating— it just gives a person an excuse not to reach out. This kind of systemic toxic thinking can be the result of a root belief of aloneness.

Ironically, sharing vulnerability has been acknowledged by experts as the most effective way to create closeness in relationships. Honesty and humility take courage and invites authenticity in others as well. According to the Institute for Brain Potential,  “people usually view a person’s willingness to share their vulnerabilities as a sign of openness, trustworthiness, and strength”. One of the best things a person can do is to move from a life of small talk to making more meaningful connections.

Think: God has made us to be in community, and it’s community that provides the means for healing— by reaching out!

Consider taking seriously the opportunity to begin a journey of healing.  Contact me for a free consultation call to discuss what 3D sessions might look like for you, as we use the power of community, vulnerability, gratitude, awe, and self-care to create new thinking patterns to release internal stressors, and feelings of loneliness.

Next
Next

Tough Questions, Straight Answers About the 3D Method